What is interactive listening?

Levels of Listening

Level 1 Tuned in: complete attention/intense concentration.

Level 2 Tuning in and out: divided attention/moderate or fluctuating concentration.

Level 3 Tuned out: little to no attention/weak concentration.

Then brain functions many times faster than the ears, we tend therefore to do "in and out" listening, picking up on trigger words that set the mind off "responding".

Barriers to Listening

Physiological: If we are ill or uncomfortable it affects our communication. We should try and be aware of the other persons physical state.

Psychological: A good example would be a family bereavement. We should consider the other person's state of mind and make appropriate allowances.

Intellectual: We may experience someone talking "over our heads" or "down to us" or about something unfamiliar/unexpected. The intellectual level of both parties affects the effectiveness of communication.

Environmental: Distractions affect concentration and accuracy. Examples include desk clutter, phones, and windows. The public nature of open-plan offices restricts communication.

Knowledge base: When we hear a word it is cross referenced against our Knowledge base to provide a meaning. If we consider the knowledge base of the other person we improve our listening accuracy.

Moral: Each of us has a set of values. By trying to understand the values of the other person, we can improve our ablity to interpret the meaning and importance of statements.

Penetrating a Barrier

1. Remove it if you can.

2. Listen through it if you can't remove it.

Actions to improve listening

Suspend thought

• Learn how to listen, be aware of your tendencies to not listen [we all do this, especially men, who have more difficulty multi-tasking. Sorry it is genetic]
• Try not to interupt, whilst thinking up the question we are not listening.
• Try not to evaluate what you are hearing until the other person has finished.
• Use plenty of summaries, this shows you are listening, gives you an opportunity to test the accuracy of your listening, and repeats back to your own mind what the person is saying, not what you think they are saying.

Clarify

• When: You need additional information, or you don’t understand
• How: Ask for additional information or an explanation
  

Confirm

• When: You think you understand and you want to make sure
• How: First, restate your understanding then, ask for confirmation

Rapport

To build rapport, demonstrate that you are listening by:

• clarifying and confirming
• echoing ie repetition of a key word or phrase
• acknowledging and bridging
• giving non verbal signs of attention

Listening is not easy, especially with the pressures of modern living, think of listening as precious gift that we are giving the other person. "Thank you, at least you listened".